Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Relationship Diary: Another Life Changing Relationship


I have been off my writing game because I had to sit back and regroup for a minute. I have shared things with you; major milestones, my friend’s craziness and now, my most recent break-up.

I never realized that you give and trust the person that you are in a relationship with so much. You have all of their pertinent information.  Man, I have to delete so much stuff it is ridiculous.  Not to mention, I have to change passwords and he does too, I digress.

EP and I decided to go our separate ways. Hell, we did that a while ago and I wasn’t ready to share that with you.  He and I had been going through some hard times for a while.  We were on/off, disconnected, reconnected and finally met the break-up point.  We didn’t split because of the distance, but because we are in two different phases in our lives. 


Like every other relationship, infidelity was involved.  However, he never had sex outside of the relationship. He was emotionally involved with some broads. He was having inappropriate conversations and reaching out to other women.  I believe an emotional bond with someone is worse than the sex act.  This crap went on over a year. 

You know when something isn’t right but you can’t put your finger on what it is. A woman’s intuition is a real thing. Ladies, listen to your gut. It is speaking for a reason.

We got passed several text messages, phone calls and inappropriate conversations to be faced with the Facebook shit.  Facebook is not a good place for couples.  Some people can have a successful relationship and for others to be downright bad for a relationship.

You know how the song goes, “It goes down in the DM,” well it did.  He was having all kinds of conversations with women.  I knew something wasn’t right when I noticed that he didn’t have more than one picture of me on Facebook.

When I asked him why there weren’t any pictures of us. He would say, “I haven’t found the right one, Baby.” I told him, “baby my ass, nah dog you didn’t want to mess up your single image.”  I am not saying that if there was a picture of us on there he wouldn’t be holding conversations in the DM, but damn people would have known he was dating someone. 

That was it for me! I refused to be in a relationship with an immature, attached, “single” reaching-out man, anymore.  I told him since he was interested in seeing other women, meeting other women, dating other women, having sex (which he wasn’t) with other women, or find himself upset with anything I told him, then it was past time that I stepped back and give him what he wanted.  I continued and told him, “I like you, love myself way too much to be in a relationship where I am not feeling appreciated or feeling taken advantage of.

Things got a bit physical when the time came for us to separate.  Maybe I should not have kicked his bag outside the door, but I was beyond done with the bullshit. I have a daughter and two sons.  I don’t want my children to think that is the way to treat anyone.  As well as, I don’t want them to think anything less of me for keeping a person who would do those kinds of things.

We both had flaws in our relationship and I am not just saying it was all his fault.  But together we are volatile and that was apparent in the end.  I do wish him well and I will continue to help him in any way I can, but not to help him find a way back together. 

Going through another break up is hard, but sometimes it is very necessary.  So, I am back to “Living the Single Life”.

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