Thursday, August 1, 2013

Love Spats: Share & Share Alike

After chatting with Jess about her new beau, I began to think about how much women share feelings, concerns and problems with others, especially our men.  On the other hand, men aren’t so open to sharing; hmm

All of this came about when Jess was telling me about her concerns.  She expressed that her beau told her that he had a lot going on and he would talk to her about it.  A few days passed and he still had not shared one single thing with her, except to tell her that it has nothing to do with the two of them.  She started to reconsider continuing her journey with this guy.  She said that if he can’t trust her enough to share what is going on with him then there is no need to be in a relationship with this person.

I really don’t think I was the right person for her to express this to because, I too believe that if you are in a relationship with someone, they should be able/comfortable enough to be open about their issues.  However, I did tell her, being that this relationship is still fresh, she needs to give him some time to be open to sharing things with her.  Wait it out and don’t jump so fast to ending things when he isn’t ready to be open. 

I ran this scenario across another girlfriend to get her take on the situation and she said, “Men will tell you things when they feel comfortable enough to do so.  Tell her not to take it personally, because that maybe the way he is. Men are not as in touch with their feelings as we are. Give him a little time, he will come around.”

Therefore, should women not be so open with men?  If a man doesn’t share things with us, should we take it personally?  I want to hear from you.  Help me give her the best advice.  


  1. i believe women share the wrong things with men at the wrong times. prime example: relationship baggage! keep that kind of stuff between you and your girls...he doesn't need to know why you hate all of your exes and what they did wrong.

    i agree with you and your friend. if the relationship is still new, don't expect for him to pour all of his feelings/issues out to you.

    1. Yes Ms. Donna, I do agree that we sometimes share the wrong things,lol. I have learned through experiences, not to share my previous mistakes in relationships with the new guy. Thank you!

  2. Women are like computers; constantly processing in the background until a problem is solved. Men are like filing cabinets, we take problems, put them in the file and close the drawer.

    Don't take that peronally.

    Side note: Women like to fix things [some men too I suppose], sometimes we only seek to vent and get the thoughts out of our head. Problem solve with us if we ask.

    1. You are right that women are fixers. Literally, we sometimes take it personal if we can't help guys figure out what is going wrong. Thank you for the male's perspective.